Diary of anju singh

ONE MOMENT ..............single MOMENT

Wed, 30 Jan 2008 10:48:45 +0530

One of the ILanders said (i dont remember the name, i was surfing through) " Only people who have never loved or been loved try to define what is love, cause people who have loved or been loved they would not try even answering What is love."
Actually she is right, in a way most philosophical and defining kind of statements would come only from people who feel that if in future they would love(be loved) then they would feel the same way.
I dont know what is love ....cause when I was "Supposedly" in love then also I couldn't define it. And now when I'm out of it , I definitely cannot define it for the simple reason i dont know what is real love?

This blog is not about defining that but actually trying to rationalize the fact and limits we decide for ourselves to be "US" in front of that lucky person. For me the feeling was and would always be symbolic with "BEING ACCEPTED" by the man you feel comfortable with it.

I guess my rambling starts form the fact that all my friends from the girly gang are talking day and night about their plans with their boyfriends. And my depressing soul is again taking over me to go in a closed shell on that day same way like last 3 years have been.

Anyway coming back to the question "I love" every person with whom i'm comfortable talking and know for sure that i'm accepted the way i am. The sense of acceptance gives the much needed feeling of being secured and completeness to ur psyche and lifts your morale.
Trust me ,try this approach , I mean if it works for me then it can work for you as well. Feel as if u r loved by every friend of urs who is in your comfort zone. And love in reciprocation as well. U see affection and love is the only feeling which cannot be shown or displayed. The harder you'ld try to make it obvious to other person , more disastrous results u'ld get.

If they also feel on the same wavelength , then obviously U r thr girl but even if not then also y u r missing out on any form of love.
In this life ....the most simple yet complicated , most inexpensive yet priceless thing is
"ONE MOMENT" of truly loving somebody or being loved by someone. Genuine care is LOVE.
Praying for lifetime of happiness for somebody else is LOVE.

So just live in the moment girl.

Life and its Mysteries...Complexities

Sat, 19 Jan 2008 17:36:00 +0530

Why do females just let the man believe that they can getaway with everything?I mean this question arises out of the fact that in evry realtionship in her life be it her family...frinds ..kids ..boyfriends...husband(S)..........Y ...i mean why does the female allows the male to be the decision maker?

Have u ever thought , she would happliy adjust herslef to the schedule of the man ..just to be with him (him in this case can be ...............any male in any aspect of relationship)but a "HE" wouldnt?

I'm asking this cause i do the same thing although i hate this but i'm not able to help myself..I repeat the mistake even after repenting it.I feel bad when somebody doesnt kinda adjust to what i feel like doing at the moment. U know in addition to feeling bad and hurt it leads to the feeling that "U" are superimposing ..forcing urself onto the other person.What to do ..u dont wanna leave that person/friend and u dont wanna talk to him/her either.

I am damn confused and irritated .

LIFE LIFE OH LIFE and UR COMPLEXITIES .....................................
it could have been much simpler if we would've understood the mystery of a MAN and a WOMAN.

Dreams: Right or Wrong

Tue, 15 Jan 2008 17:47:18 +0530

I dont know whether it is right or wrong .........heck i've already done that .....so its just that it's already been executed ....now the sitaution has become kinda complicated and its like being judged on the moral grounds that whether i'm right or wrong
I love this anonymous garb out here to explore/express the feelings which cannot be shared with anybody so i'm writing this thing out here. This space allows myself to be me ,...So i'ld be looking forward to anything be it comments ...brickbats ....suggestions...solutions .anything at all is welcome.

What has happened is I envisioned my best friend ( a guy ofcourse) and me in my MAKING out dream. Although to my shock it was pretty good stuff and a sweet memory ,( i mean he was damn good and i was comfortable/happy as well. I dont expect this out of him) but now he knows all this (not the intricate details yet, thank god for it).

He called me up at 4 in the morning and being the nut case that I am ...i blurted out everything......
Now i am not sure that whether I blurted out about the same or some other dream.He's not even confirming it to add to my troubles.
The problem is not me i am OK with this but i think he wont take it right ...such boldness and forthrightness might be too shocking for my friend. I dont wanna lose my friend either.

They say dreams indicate some thing .............do they ????
they say whatever u see is out of ur own consciousness .............ur own subconscious is it so?????
But is it right to think in these sexual overtones about my best friend ....when the realtionship is absolutely at the coolest level ..and is as beautiful and precious as it can be.....???
Would it be right to add these complexities to that friendship...OR am i risking something if i dont clear out the air???

I dont know ...whether DREAMS are RIGHT/WRONG

P.S : By the way if allowed to be as bitchy and kinky that i am ..........I'ld love to have this kinda arrangement..u know ur best friend .....cool and comfortable rapport ........no strings ..no emotional hang-ups and great sex.....................wat say ;-)

DILEMMA ..........please help

Tue, 15 Jan 2008 08:58:26 +0530

I have a rather peculiar question...................
if asked how would one prove that He is a BOY ??????????

OR

She is a GIRL ???????????

any suggestions any answers ..........

badlaav

Sat, 05 Jan 2008 11:01:37 +0530

hum zindagi ki ghutan sehte kyun hain,kyun hum kuch karte nahin...
kyun nahin in zanjeeron ko kaat te...
kyun in bandhonon ko todte.

kyun hum majboor hain ,
wahi purane raaste tay karke ,
wahi purani manzil paane ke liye.

dil bas yehi kehta hai
ki ab agar saans leni hai ,
to udna hoga,
nayi manzilein talaashni hongi.......
naye raaste dhoondhne honge

par tum jaante ho
mera dil joi khush ho jaye
to kitno ke dil tootenge !!!!!!!!!!!

bas ek khayal.....

Wed, 05 Dec 2007 17:50:11 +0530

kal khushi bhi kuch yun lagi

kuch pheeki si, kuch murjhayi si, kuch udhaar si thi.....

kal doston ka huzoom saath tha

par kuch tanhai si, kuch ghutan si thi...........

yeh kaun sa jazba , kaun sa khayal

ki ab tanha chalna khalta hai.........

bheed mein bhi tanhai kaisi thi,

ahsaaas kar chuki hun main..........

bas ab koi meri tanhai baant le

koi mera haath tanhai main bhi thaam le,

har waqt yehi khayal rehta hai........

Shikayat

Wed, 21 Nov 2007 09:08:31 +0530

aaj shayad kitne din baad maine phir kalam uthai hai,

use bhi mujhse shikayat hai........

ruke,toote,bikhre hue shabd mano yehi kehte hai

aaj phir tanhai main hi yaad meri hi aayi hai.

The Song

Thu, 18 Oct 2007 12:57:25 +0530

So long ago
I didn't have a care about me
I didn't know my right from wrong
But now I know
That you've got your love around me
You know it makes me feel so strong
Baby if you turn around
And prove to me its real
Maybe we can work it out
Cos this is how I feel

Do you know where you go when you give it all away
I'll be there for you, care for you
Love you everyday oh baby
And do you feel the same for me?
Everyday you're away
And I feel a little low
I would cry for you, die for you
Just to let you know oh baby
And if you come to me you know I'll make it right

Through out all my life
I never thought I'd have somebody
Someone to call my own
And now I've found
A little bit of heaven baby
A place to call my own

Baby if you turn around
And prove to me its real
Maybe we can work it out
Cos this is how I feel

Do you know where you go when you give it all away
I'll be there for you, care for you
Love you everyday oh baby
And do you feel the same for me?
Everyday you're away
And I feel a little low
I would cry for you, die for you
Just to let you know oh baby
And if you come to me you know I'll make it right

Hey there dont you know
You gotta slow down before you know
You gonna brake down and turn around
Before you know, you go and break my heart
When will you learn to be
A little helpful when you think of me
A little careful when you're close to me
Coz baby i loved you from the start

Baby if you turn around
And prove to me its real
Maybe we can work it out
Cos this is how I feel

(I love you)

Do you know where you go when you give it all away
I'll be there for you, care for you
Love you everyday oh baby
And do you feel the same for me?
Everyday you're away
And I feel a little low
I would cry for you, die for you
Just to let you know oh baby

Do you know where you go when you give it all away
I'll be there for you, care for you
Love you everyday oh baby
And do you feel the same for me?
Everyday you're away
And I feel a little low
I would cry for you, die for you
Just to let you know oh baby
And if you come to me you know I'll make it right

y cant girls be bitchy yet wanted.....loved

Mon, 08 Oct 2007 18:22:58 +0530

Why dont guys like girls who are little bit snobbish and if i'm allowed to say BITCHY?

I mean wats wrong with tht ...i'm sorry but the guy rgt now i'm in love with (no confessions yet from either side) wants me to be oh so girly...ultra feminine ..although i love this guy and i love to put up this farce for him just to please him..I hate the emptiness and shalowness tht i have to deal with as soon as i put the phone down.I bear everythng just to be close to him (this is the only way )

I'm constantly doing tht since the day i've heard his voice ..when i realised it was something of an ethereal experience listening to his voice .....tht deep baritone sends shivers down my spine and the ecstacy is too much to handle.Anyways i know he's sexy but wat the heck ........i'ld like to be bitchy..

I just hate it wen i have to agree to all the rgt things tht a good girl is supposed to do. I'ld like to talk kinky ...wud love to tear apart all those girls around me ....their styling ..talking sense..everything ...come on i miss that .

And I'l love to be strongly opinionated ...but y i'm not doing this ....BECAUSE the guys dont like girls who are bitches ...they'ld but only in bed ...right

SO till the time i'm allowed to be myself again (SUPER BITCH) i'ld have to be that super cute and feminine girl with all those values intact and right in place ...............for some guy to take me to bed and give me the chance once again to be ME ..........JUST ME

Hopes .....and Realities

Fri, 28 Sep 2007 09:38:15 +0530

Y do some people are born hopelessly romantic, still clinging on to the hope that someday once again yet again they'll find love in their life. Now here I'm not criticising the very spirit of people who actually bring optimism at its best in the society and making everybody else's life around them as beautiful as they are. Infact I'm one of them ....(I can be the poster girl for them )

But , instead I'm talking about the fact that y out of everybody we are the only ones who are denied of true love . Cant people understand and feel the intensity of love that we have to offer.

The past has not been good enough to me ..... But now being the eternal believer in the Surreal and ethereal feeling of love I'm again in LOVE. The previous experience is stopping me to go and confess it all. What should I do???

Can somebody please tell me how to read the signals so that I dont break my heart this time?Although it doesnt matter , that whether my feelings would be reciprocated or not ..........wat the heck I know the hopeless romantic in me would hopelessly hope again for love.

But I dont want to lose this beautiful relationship which somewhat less of lovers but certainly more than comfort of two good friends.

Why do this love has to exist in our lives I guess the absence of it would have made our lives simpler .............much more simpler.

No more heart breaks.......no hopes ...........no false promises .........no dreams ........

Just plain simple Life and Realities...........!!!!!!!!